Still Around, Quiet, Tough These Days

I just checked in for the first time in, well, I don't know when I last even thought about my blog.

You see, I am in that state of mental and emotional funk which many have experienced; and which I hope you have not and will not experience. I call it giving up. And, I also give myself a metaphorical slap to the back of my head each time I notice that I gave up. But, it does not seem to have a lasting effect as it only takes a few moments of catching up on current events to release the funk once again.

Maybe things will change when work picks up, I tell myself. Maybe things will change when the Supreme Court rules on the health care mandate, I tell myself. Maybe things will change when the elections are done in November, I tell myself. Knowing all the while that things will only change when I change them, for me, and, so far, I don't have any idea what that change would look like.

Maybe I'll figure it out. Maybe I'll find it rewarding to read more and to once again have curiosity. Maybe I will want to share, here and elsewhere, when I find something intriguing. Maybe I will continue to get up in the morning, get washed, get dressed, and go about the day without ever being inspired to do more than the minimum each day requires of me.

Then, that gives the reader a view into my present state of mind, and is intended to serve also as an explanation for my recent absence from this, my blog. There is more to all of this, but, I offer these tidbits by way of offering up that I have made no conscience decision to not post here, and such inactivity is a victim of circumstances; circumstances which I predict will pass. One day I will post here again. Perhaps, with this expression comes notice that my return is near.

Update: Minutes ago I hit publish and then when this essay was posted I noticed that I had dropped a letter in the headline which alters its meaning. I say alters its meaning when I actually feel that neither my originally intended headline, Still Around, Quiet Though These Days, nor my published headline, Still Around, Quiet Tough These Days, are grammatically to my taste. Both lack clarity.  Both stammer. Yet, I liked something about the non-intended word Tough as prelude to this essay; it holds a sense of how I get through each day, I tough it out. So, I compromise and add a comma to separate three concepts about these days. At times error succeeds where correct fails.